“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and the thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.” – Edmund Lee

Let’s read a story…

Eeyore and Tigger had been the best of friends since they were kids. They grew up together in a small village, always dreaming of ways to make a difference in the world. As they grew older, their paths diverged. Eeyore became content with his life and believed that his abilities and intelligence were fixed and couldn’t be improved upon. Tigger, on the other hand, believed that he could always improve himself through hard work and dedication. He was always seeking new challenges and opportunities to grow.

One day, Tigger decided to start a business selling homemade lemonade, and he immediately thought of his old friend Eeyore . He knew that Eeyore was a great cook and could help him create the perfect recipe. They teamed up and began to sell their lemonade in the village. At first, Eeyore’s recipe was a hit, and the business was successful. But as time passed, the villagers grew tired of the same flavor, and sales began to decline.

Tigger suggested experimenting with new flavors and ingredients, but Eeyore refused to consider any changes. He was set in his ways and believed that his recipe was perfect as it was. Tigger tried to convince him, but it was no use. The tension between the two friends grew, and they started to argue more and more.

One day, Tigger decided to walk away from the business. He couldn’t keep working with someone who was so closed-minded and resistant to change. Eeyore was devastated. He had lost his best friend and business partner, all because he was too stubborn to try something new.

As Eeyore sat alone in his kitchen, he began to reflect on his life. He realized that he had been holding himself back by clinging to his fixed mindset. He thought about all the missed opportunities and experiences he had avoided because he was too afraid to take risks. He knew that he needed to change if he wanted to move forward.

Eeyore reached out to Tigger and apologized for his behavior. He told him that he had been wrong and that he wanted to try new things and grow. Tigger was hesitant at first, but he could see the sincerity in Eyegor’s words. They decided to give the business another shot, but this time, they would work together and try new things.

The two friends began to experiment with different ingredients and flavors, and the business took off once again. They were creating unique and exciting variations of lemonade that the villagers loved. Eeyore was amazed at how much he had learned and how much he had grown since adopting a growth mindset. He was grateful to have Tigger by his side, supporting him every step of the way.

This story is a reminder that it’s never too late to change and grow. It’s important to surround ourselves with positive and supportive people who encourage us to take risks and pursue our dreams. When we let go of our fixed mindset and embrace a growth mindset, amazing things can happen, and we can achieve great success and fulfillment in all aspects of life.

What do we learn from this story?

In the story, we see how Eeyore’s fixed mindset and negative attitude hold Tigger back from pursuing his goals and reaching his full potential. We also see how Tigger’s growth mindset and determination help him break free from this limiting friendship and surround himself with more positive and supportive people.

The story of Eeyore and Tigger highlights the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who encourage our growth and development. It also emphasizes the negative impact that fixed mindsets can have on our lives, and the importance of adopting a growth mindset to overcome challenges and achieve our goals.

By breaking free from limiting friendships and surrounding ourselves with growth, we can cultivate a positive and supportive environment that helps us thrive and reach our full potential. Whether it’s setting boundaries, seeking support elsewhere, or challenging our own fixed mindset, there are many ways we can avoid a fixed mindset and embrace growth in our lives.

Here are some examples of how having friends like Eeyore or Tigger in your close circle can affect your mindset:

• Fixed Mindset

Let’s say you have a friend like Eeyore who believes that intelligence is fixed and can’t be improved. You may notice that they often discourage you from taking on new challenges or trying something new. For example, if you express an interest in learning a new skill or taking on a new project, your friend may say things like, “Why bother? You’re not naturally good at that.” This kind of negative feedback can be demotivating and may prevent you from pursuing your goals.

Another example of a fixed mindset is when someone believes that failure is a sign of weakness or incompetence. If you have a friend like Eeyore who holds this belief, they may discourage you from taking risks or trying new things for fear of failing. For example, if you express an interest in starting your own business, your friend may say things like, “That’s too risky. What if you fail? It’s better to stick with what you know.” This kind of negativity can be limiting and may prevent you from pursuing your dreams.

• Growth Mindset

On the other hand, if you have a friend like Tigger who has a growth mindset, they may encourage you to take on challenges and believe that you can improve through hard work and dedication. For example, if you express an interest in learning a new language, your friend may say things like, “That’s awesome! You can totally do it. Let’s find some resources to help you get started.” This kind of positive reinforcement can be empowering and may motivate you to pursue your goals.

Another example, if you have a friend like Tigger who has a growth mindset, they may see failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. For example, if you express an interest in starting your own business, your friend may say things like, “That’s amazing! It’s a challenging but rewarding journey. Let’s brainstorm some ideas and strategies to help you get started.” This kind of positive reinforcement can be motivating and may encourage you to take risks and pursue your dreams.

How to avoid or set back when you find someone as Eeyore?

It can be challenging when you have a friend like Eeyore who has a fixed mindset and tends to discourage you from taking on new challenges or trying something new. Here are some tips on how to avoid or set back when you find someone as Eeyore:

1. Set boundaries: It’s essential to set boundaries with your friend Eeyore if they are continuously negative or dismissive of your goals and aspirations. You can do this by calmly explaining how their behavior is affecting you and that you would appreciate their support and encouragement. If they don’t respect your boundaries, you may need to consider distancing yourself from them.

2. Seek support elsewhere: If you find that your friend Eeyore is not providing you with the support and encouragement you need, consider seeking support elsewhere. This may include finding a mentor, joining a support group, or connecting with others who share your goals and interests.

3. Challenge your own fixed mindset: It’s important to recognize that we all have a fixed mindset in certain areas of our lives. Instead of blaming your friend Eeyore, use their fixed mindset as an opportunity to challenge your own fixed mindset. Reflect on areas of your life where you may be holding limiting beliefs and work on adopting a growth mindset yourself.

4. Focus on the positives: Even if your friend Eeyore has a fixed mindset, they may still have many positive qualities that make them a valuable friend. Try to focus on the positive aspects of your friendship and find ways to enjoy each other’s company without letting their fixed mindset hold you back.

5. Lead by example: One way to influence your friend Eeyore’s mindset is to lead by example. Show them how a growth mindset can help you achieve your goals and overcome challenges. For example, if you are working on a challenging project or trying something new, share your progress and successes with your friend Eeyore. This can help them see the benefits of adopting a growth mindset.

6. Seek professional help: If you are struggling to deal with your friend Eeyore’s fixed mindset, consider seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide you with the tools and support you need to navigate difficult relationships and improve your own mindset.

7. Communicate effectively: When communicating with your friend Eeyore, try to be clear, calm, and assertive. Avoid blaming or criticizing them for their fixed mindset and instead focus on how their behavior is affecting you. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs, and actively listen to their perspective.

8. Find common ground: Even if your friend Eeyore has a fixed mindset, there may still be areas where you share common ground. Find ways to connect over these shared interests and hobbies. This can help strengthen your friendship and provide a positive foundation for your relationship.

9. Learn to let go: Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you may not be able to change your friend Eeyore’s mindset. In these cases, it may be necessary to learn to let go of the relationship or at least distance yourself from it. Remember that you deserve to be surrounded by positive and supportive people who encourage your growth and development.

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” – Steve Jobs

A note to my readers:

“Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.” – John Mark Green

Breaking free from a negative or limiting relationship can be an emotional and difficult process, but it’s also incredibly empowering and life-changing. When I found myself in a similar situation with someone like Eeyore, I felt trapped and held back from pursuing my dreams and passions. I was constantly second-guessing myself and my abilities, and it felt like there was a heavy weight on my shoulders that I couldn’t shake off.

But then, something inside me clicked. I realized that I couldn’t continue to let someone else’s negative energy and fixed mindset hold me back from living the life I truly wanted. So, with a heavy heart and trembling hands, I made the decision to distance myself from my Eeyore-like friend and seek out more positive and growth-oriented relationships.

It wasn’t easy. There were moments of doubt and fear, and I felt a sense of loss and sadness as I said goodbye to someone who had been a significant part of my life. But as time passed, I began to see the positive impact of my decision. I was surrounded by people who believed in me, encouraged my growth and development, and challenged my fixed mindset. I felt a sense of freedom and possibility that I hadn’t experienced in years, and it was exhilarating.

Looking back now, I can see how much that decision changed the trajectory of my life. I embarked on new journeys, pursued new passions, and achieved goals I never thought were possible. And while it wasn’t always easy, it was always worth it.

So if you’re feeling trapped in a negative or limiting relationship, know that you have the power to break free and create the life you truly want. Embrace growth, surround yourself with positive and supportive people, and never stop pursuing your dreams. Because when you do, amazing things can happen.